Transformation not determination

I think that if you don’t read Christian books, watch and or listen to other Christian pastors and attend Christian conferences you limit your opportunity to learn more about God and how to grow closer to and become like Christ. And this is what God wants for us.

Much of your growth can come from hearing stories of what others have overcome and how God has worked in their lives and knowing that you are not the only one dealing with these issues.

I believe becoming a stronger and more mature Christian requires more than just attending church on Sundays. It requires you to make a greater effort to seek God.

The excerpt below from the book ‘Man Alive’ by Pat Morley can help you in this quest.

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From the section titled ‘It starts with the heart’ – p32 - 33

Christianity is heart transformation not behavior modification. The reason that 90% of men lead lukewarm, often defeated lives is really quite simple. They’re trying to solve the wrong problem. Most of us have the idea that Christianity is about behavior modification – using determination to change our behavior and be more spiritual. We think that if we can just get the right information, if we can just have more willpower and ‘man up’ then we will do the right things and everything will be ok.

But everything is not okay. In fact the harder we try the more frustrated and confused we become. A man can only will himself to act and perform like a Christian for so long. One man who abandoned his faith said, ‘I served in the church for twenty years and I got worn out. I decided to try something else.’ Determination, we all learn eventually, is not a strategy.

How does heart transformation happen in practice? If we were to ask Pete (Morley’s younger brother referred to previously), what would he say? He would tell us that his heart was transformed when he stopped trying to go it alone and dug into God’s word with a group of guys who accepted him “as is”. He would tell us that he didn’t really do anything. He simply presented himself to God as a flawed vessel, looking intently into God’s Word in the company of a few men who cared about each other, and God changed the way he thinks.  

That really is the story of transformation. It happens from the inside out as we build our faith with each other. Everything starts with the heart. Jesus put it this way:

‘The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart,

 and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.
For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks’ (Luke 6:45, NIV)

Authentic faith really is about the heart. Of course, Christianity is also about behavior, but its behavior that overflows from changing what we believe in our hearts. Belief determines behavior. You could think of it like this:

Right reading leads to

Right thinking and that leads to
Right believing and that leads to
Right behaving

 

Thoughts on mentoring

This is a great article on Mentoring. It is simple, clear, uses common sense and is to the point. Reiland makes some great suggestions on the responsibilities of the person desiring to be mentored, gives a good example, in John Maxwell, about the hunger to learn a person who wants to be mentored needs. Successful mentoring needs to be looked at as a lifetime process and is not limited to one mentor.

ARTICLE
“Want a Mentor?”
By Dan Reiland

My mentor, John Maxwell, has written and spoken about being mentored by the great coach John Wooden among others. I recently received a question by email asking: “How does one go about getting the greatest NCAA coach (John Wooden) as a mentor? Did he (Maxwell) just ask for regular meetings and what does mentorship look like?”

Good questions.

I will admit that getting John Wooden as a coach is an extraordinary circumstance involving an extraordinary leader. But on the other hand, John Maxwell didn’t start there. It was only after nearly 30 years of successful leadership that John was able to connect with Coach Wooden. It was John’s desire to grow and his great passion to add value to people’s lives that made the difference. The fact that John is a tremendous student is also a very significant part of the story.

Over the years I’ve wondered which is more important – to have a great mentor or to be a great student? The easy answer is both. But more and more I think the secret is in being a great student. You can have the most brilliant mentor in the world, even a famous one, but if you aren’t ready to pay the price, dig in, learn and change, it won’t matter.

I love John’s early stories about offering to pay $100.00 for an hour of someone’s time just to ask questions and learn. Back then $100.00 might as well have been $1,000.00!! But that didn’t matter to John. That showed how serious he was, and at age 65 John is still passionate about learning and growing. I think that’s one of the reasons his books and talks are so good. They come not only from (now) 40 years of experience, but also from a fresh place of learning and relevancy.

In contrast, I’ve seen men and women receive an hour or so of someone’s time and show up ill-prepared. They had no written questions. They talked more than listened and expressed very little gratitude. It was almost as if they had some time to kill and thought that might be fun. When you do that to a busy person, they will not give you a second meeting.

So, do you want a mentor? Let me offer some good advice.

1. Be good at something first.

This might sound strange, but you need to be good at something before you ask someone to help you be great at something. You can be good at anything! That doesn’t matter. You may want to be a great leader and your only claim to fame is that you are really good at golf or giving a talk. Maybe you are brilliant at math or a technological genius type. Here’s the point, if you are good at something, you have shown the passion and discipline to create the needed potential to become great at what you really want. I don’t want to discourage you, but if you’ve just been hanging out and you’ve never worked hard at anything, you’re not ready for a mentor. Perhaps you’re a young adult and your only claim to fame is that you were an A student in college. Great! That’s what I’m talking about. Get good at something first.

2. Seek someone just a little ahead of you.

A common mistake is to think: “If I’m going for a mentor, I’m going right to the top and getting the best.” I appreciate the sentiment, but you are likely making a mistake. For example, if a pastor who serves in a church of 500 seeks a mentor who pastors a church of 5,000, the two of them clearly live in two different worlds and they barely speak the same language. Yes, leadership principles are leadership principles. That’s true, but trust me on this, and this is the key, you are much better off being mentored by someone who understands where you are because they were there at one time, and maybe even not so long ago! If you lead a church of 500 try to get a mentor who leads a church of 800 to 1,200. This is not a legalistic thing. Don’t get hung up on the numbers, just go with the idea. And of course, make the ask.

3. Think intentionally organic.

Don’t ask for lots of regularly scheduled meetings. You will likely lose a potential mentor that way. Don’t ask for monthly or even quarterly connects. Go for a more intentionally organic approach. Here’s what I mean. If you can hang with a couple meetings (phone or in person) a year plus a few short emails, you might be surprised by how quickly you get a yes. Intentional refers to staying strategic and on purpose and the organic simply means to catch the meetings when it works out naturally in both your schedules.

You don’t need lots of meetings, not if you really want to change and grow. Information requires lots of meetings – transformation requires only a few. If you connect with a good mentor two or three times in a year, that is plenty. It will take you at least that much time between conversations to really put to practice what was given to you. Now let’s do the math, if you have two or three mentors, you can see that would be six to nine meetings a year – basically way too much.

Note #1: When it’s a boss/employee relationship, of course you meet much more often, but much of that is just “doing business.” That’s natural and normal. It is unrealistic to think that’s all mentoring. In fact, if it is, you are likely into something closer to a counseling relationship than coaching and mentoring.

Note #2: When it’s a crisis situation, everything changes. If it’s a true crisis, your mentor will get that and quickly respond, and that requires more time. Sometimes in those situations I encourage the one I’m coaching to hire a consultant who can devote the needed time, and I remain as chief encourager during that crisis time.

4. Work harder than your mentor.

Don’t waste your mentor’s time. Show up with well thought through and relevant questions. Take notes. Work hard to practice what was discussed, and the next time you talk, tell him or her what you have done.

A good mentor will always have some questions, a resource or two, and good advice, but the mentoring is more your job than his/hers. You set the agenda and come with it in writing. If your mentor asks you to do something, make the necessary adjustments, but do it. This does not prevent healthy disagreements and intense conversations, but you either want their advice or you don’t. If you don’t, that’s ok, but then stop taking their time and end the mentoring relationship with respect and gratitude.

I’ve been blessed with five mentors over the course of my life and I’m grateful! I’m sure that’s part of the reason I’m eager to coach as many as I can. I trust that you will also pass on what is given to you.

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Dr. Dan Reiland serves as Executive Pastor at 12Stone Church in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He previously partnered with John Maxwell for 20 years, first as Executive Pastor at Skyline Wesleyan Church in San Diego, then as Vice President of Leadership and Church Development at INJOY. He and Dr. Maxwell still enjoy partnering on a number of church related projects together.

Dan is best known as a leader with a pastor's heart, but is often described as one of the nation’s most innovative church thinkers. His passion is developing leaders for the local church so that the Great Commission is advanced.

As a communicator, Dan has a down-to-earth style that combines humor and strategic thinking. Each year he "coaches" many pastors and speaks to several thousand people, impacting lives and strengthening the local church.

Dan and his wife Patti live in Dracula, Georgia with their two children Mackenzie and John-Peter.

Being new and improved

Tony Hawk, skateboarding legend, had this to say when asked by TMZ about skateboarding becoming an Olympic sport in light of the Olympics dropping the sport of wrestling.

‘The Olympics needs skateboarding more than skateboarding needs the Olympics’

Out with the old and in with the new. Society now more than ever is looking for the new and improved of everything. You can see this over time with various consumer products. It seems after the release of the initial product a new and improved version shows up relatively soon to improve sales and profits.

How about with TV’s? There was black and white then color, plasma then LCD, analog then digital, cabinet models then portables and now flat screens. And due to all the changes screen sizes have increased substantially.

How about you personally? Are you new and improved or are you the same as you were when you graduated from high school or college? Do you hesitate to learn to use the new technologies in smart phones and computers? Have you changed physically or mentally? Gone to get additional training?

Some people make changes in themselves for personal reasons like getting a new job and some so that others will notice. Some make changes because they want to be better or achieve some other objective. People become Christians for similar reasons. The Christians who have the most impact on earth for God are the ones who choose to change and become like Christ and love God and love others. Loving others means loving all types of people in many situations.

We are all born with gifts and talents that God has given us. And by spending time in reading the Bible, by praying, associating with other Christians in groups for community and with more mature Christians who can mentor us and help us with accountability, by volunteering as well as attending services we come to grow and to realize what God wants us to do.  

Serving God is a noble and worth cause. Jesus came to serve and God wants us to do the same.

²⁸ just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:28 NIV

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Tony Hawk was one of the top skateboarders in the world by the time he was 16, and in his 17-year career, he won more than 70 skateboarding contests. Hawk started his own skateboarding company, BirdHouse and also has a successful line of video games and skateboarding videos. Through the Tony Hawk Foundation, he provides grants and technical assistance for new parks, especially in low-income areas.

TMZ offers entertainment news, gossip and an inside look at the latest celebrity scandals

Wrestling in shock as IOC wields Games axe

(Reuters) …Contested in the first modern Olympics in 1896 and part of the ancient Games in Olympia, wrestling will now join seven other candidate sports battling for one spot in a revamped program.

 

Is appalling a strong enough word?

On 60 Minutes this past Sunday night three American survivors of the Al Qaeda attack on an Algerian Gas Plant talked about what it was like to experience the terrorist attack. The experience of fear, doubts, wondering if they would see their families again and not knowing what to do or what was going to happen created fear for each.

This January attack followed an earlier attack in September on the American Embassy in Benghazi, Libya, where the American Ambassador and three other Americans were killed in another terrorist attack.

The US Government, specifically President Barak Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, didn’t appear to be concerned with the health and safety of the Americans, dead or alive, in either situation. Even when a US Ambassador in Benghazi was reported under armed attack, with time for the US military to respond, and then killed. If you don't know by now, a politician’s image and reputation is always more important than being linked to problems or being identified as responsible for the problem.

If you or someone you know will be travelling to other countries I would be concerned. The reason is that the Government has shown by its lack of action, concern or involvement that they are not concerned if something happens to you or other Americans including a US Ambassador while you are outside the country. Actually it appears that the US is more concerned about not upsetting the Muslim nations than protecting or defending their own citizens.

But on the other hand if you want more government benefits you will be encouraged by all types of government officials to apply and will be protected by the entire US government including the courts when people who believe in lower government spending and less government want to cut those benefits and other types of government spending in order to get more control of government overspending.

Big Government gets bigger, stronger and more dominant when people depend on it more. And Big Government means you have less choices and less freedom and that government that seems so good now because it gives you benefits is less and less accountable to you and the American citizenry. The end result of this is arrogant and unaccountable or uncontrollable politicians.

Government only cares about itself and will use you and all citizens to achieve the objectives of its agenda whether those goals benefit you or not. So what you think is so great today could end up being terrible for you and your family in the future.

Algeria attack survivors: "You could hear bullets start to hit the side of the bus"

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505263_162-57568129/algeria-attack-survivors-you-could-hear-bullets-start-to-hit-the-side-of-the-bus/

We can all learn from this

A minority of people do a majority of the talking at most work meetings. Here's how you can stop these conversation hogs in their tracks.

By Leigh Thompson

http://management.fortune.cnn.com/2013/02/11/meetings-conversation-dominator-work/?iid=SF_F_River

FORTUNE -- The next time you go to a team meeting, surreptitiously get out a sheet of paper and bring a watch. Record who talks and for how long, and at the end of the meeting, add up how many minutes each person had the floor. If your meetings are anything like the hundreds studied by management scientists, you probably noticed that a minority of people did a majority of the talking. The rest of the folks did not get a word in edgewise!

This problem is known as the uneven communication problem. There are a few dominant people in most groups who control and monopolize the discussion. For example, in a typical four-person group, two people do 62% of the talking. In a six-person group, three people do 70% of the talking; and in an eight-person group, three people do 70% of the talking. The topper is that the dominant people do not realize this. In fact, they vehemently argue that the meetings are egalitarian. They lack self-awareness.

The question becomes: Why are the rest of us here? A dysfunctional self-fulfilling prophecy starts to unfold week after week in these meetings: the dominant people begin to feel that the silent people are unprepared or simply don't have any opinions, so they dominate more; similarly, the quiet folks feel that it is futile to try to be heard, so they stop trying. Left unchecked, this creates a self-perpetuating doom loop in the group. Team members may blame one another for the unsatisfactory team meeting. In order to get the most out of collaboration, it is important to neutralize the too-dominant people and encourage the too-submissive people. However, just saying, "Shut up" or "Speak up" does not work. We need a more effective technique.

Is that all?

I noticed something today at McDonalds that I have experienced at a popular local convenience store chain every time I go in one of their stores.

Before I get too far into it, let’s go back more than a few years. It used to be when you went to McDonalds and whenever you ordered something, either at the counter or the drive through, they would always ask ‘would you like an apple pie with that?’

It was the way they were trained. They were trained to use the concept of suggestive selling to remind the customer of something they may want but didn’t order. Most people didn’t think of ordering a pie but when the clerk suggested it the customer thought that sounds good and said sure I think I’ll take one.

At the local convenience store chain I don’t think anyone has ever asked me if I wanted anything else specifically, like an apple pie. All I get when I walk up to the counter is the comment ‘is that all?’ when I put my items down to be rung up.

You don’t know how many times I want to say to the clerk after he or she says ‘is that all?’, ‘Oh I’m so stupid, I wanted one of every item in the store but I forgot to pick up one of each. Can you wait a few minutes until I get all those items? I’ll be right back.’  

I guess the stores I go to are too successful and they don’t have to suggestive sell anymore. It’s either that or they aren’t training their people to suggestive sell (maybe that is more annoying than saying ‘is that all?) or the quality of employees they hire has dropped off and they forget easily.

Just know that someday if you are at a convenience store and you have to wait in line longer than normal and there is some guy running around picking out one of every item in the store, it may be me.

A distinct difference

This piece was on the first page of the manual titled ‘Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood’ that was used at the Stepping Up Men’s Video Conference.

Boys take, Men give.

Boys criticize, Men create.

Boys complain, Men solve.

Boys consume, Men serve.

Boys pout, Men endure.

‘- John Bryson

I attended the Stepping Up Men’s Video Conference on Saturday, February 2, 2013 in Royersford, PA. that was sponsored by Family Life. The manual used was titled ‘Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood’ and the focus was on helping men understand who a man is and what a man does.

Hey' Ravens' Fans

In 1845 Edgar Allen Poe wrote the poem 'The Raven' when living in Baltimore. Since then the Raven has been associated with Baltimore and was chosen as the name for the pro football team, the Baltimore Ravens.

• What remains with us since then is the line from the poem:   'quote the Raven: Nevermore!'

• I think that a more up to date version of the line is needed:   'quote the Raven: Win one more!'

I really like both Superbowl teams, the San Francisco Forty-Niners and the Baltimore Ravens, and I like the coaches, each a Harbaugh.


To win the Super Bowl game, I'll take the Baltimore Ravens!

Choose the Life

Why I (Bill Hull) Wrote This Book

 On December 11, 2012, I added a post to my blog titled ‘New Testament Model of Discipleship’ from the book ‘Choose the Life’ by Bill Hull. That post referenced the five dimensions of Discipleship. The piece that appears below is an introduction in the book prior to an explanation of the Five Dimensions.

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I wrote this book because I couldn’t hold it in. More than any other book I have written (there are nine others listed in this book as written by Hull), God called me to this one. Dietrich Bonhoeffer said ‘Christianity without discipleship is always Christianity without Christ.” This is a penetrating analysis of both the problem and the solution in many churches today. The problem is that many people believe the right things in their heads about Jesus but do not follow him. The solution is discipleship, which can be summarized as believing what Jesus believed, living the way Jesus lived, loving the way Jesus loved, ministering the way Jesus ministered and leading the way Jesus led.

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Hull attached a few words to each of the five dimensions that show what occurs by following that dimension. See items in parentheses below.

Believing what Jesus believed (transformed mind)

Live as Jesus lived (transformed character)

Love as Jesus loved (transformed relationships)

Minister as Jesus ministered (transformed service)

Lead as Jesus led (transformed influence)

 

…This book is about choosing the life that transforms. It is about what we must do to position ourselves to change.


See Post on 12/12/12 - New Testament Model of Being a Disciple

Leading the Way Jesus Led

Leading the Way Jesus Led (Transformed Influence)

On December 11, 2012, I added a post to my blog titled ‘New Testament Model of Discipleship’ from the book ‘Choose the Life’ by Bill Hull. That post referenced the five dimensions of Discipleship. The piece that appears below describes the fifth of the five dimensions.

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Many spiritual leaders find themselves trapped in a church dominated by the surrounding culture of success. Nothing fails like success and that is so true of spiritual leaders who have mimicked models of leadership other than that of Jesus. The leader gets trapped in the “church world’s” version of success with its rewards and punishments. The great temptation is to climb the ecclesiastical ladder, but then you find yourself standing on the top of a very short wobbly ladder, and you are sure to fall because there is nothing dependable to hold onto. If the proper markings of success are not present in one’s life, consequences follow. Jesus is our leader and inherent to following him is leading the way he led. Jesus was irrelevant and unnecessary to his culture. And by taking a servant’s role, even though it cost him everything, he became the most relevant and necessary man of history.