Following are a few things posted by Regis Nicoll in the article ‘The True Measure of Manhood’ at the Break Point Site.
“[True] men love the women and children under their care. They shoulder responsibility that turns authority into the work of a servant, and the work of a servant into authority.” (Robert Hart)
Dr. Robert Lewis in the ‘Quest for Authentic Manhood’ suggests 25 characteristics of a modern day servant leader
A Servant-Leader . . .
1. Includes his wife in envisioning the future.
2. Accepts spiritual responsibility for his family.
3. Is willing to say “I’m sorry” and “Forgive me” to his family.
4. Discusses household responsibilities with his wife and makes sure they are fairly distributed.
5. Seeks consultation from his wife on all major financing decisions.
6. Follows through with commitments he has made to his wife.
7. Anticipates the different stages his children will pass through.
8. Anticipates the different stages his marriage will pass through.
9. Frequently tells his wife what he likes about her.
10. Provides financially for his family’s basic living expenses.
11. Deals with distraction so he can talk with his wife and family.
12. Prays with his wife on a regular basis.
13. Initiates meaningful family traditions.
14. Initiates fun family outings for the family on a regular basis.
15. Takes the time to give his children practical instruction about life.
16. Manages the schedule of the home and anticipates pressure points.
17. Keeps his family financially sound and out of harmful debt.
18. Makes sure he and his wife have drawn up a will.
19. Lets his wife and children into the interior of his life.
20. Honors his wife in public.
21. Explains sex to each child in a way that gives them a wholesome perspective.
22. Encourages his wife to grow as an individual.
23. Takes the lead in establishing sound, biblical family values.
24. Provides time for his wife to pursue her own personal interests.
25. Is involved in a small group of men dedicated to spiritual growth.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Who is in Control?
School buses are usually running their routes and picking up students when I leave for work and most times I can avoid any substantial delays on my trip to work.
If I compare things as they are now with what it was like when I was a kid in school things are a little different. My friends and I didn’t ride in a school bus even though we may have lived about a mile from the school.
We lived in a small town of about 7.000 people in upstate Pennsylvania and our school district encompassed my home town and some surrounding towns and townships. I don’t know if riding the school bus was ever an option for us but I don’t remember that we wanted to.
Granted societal and cultural changes have occurred since then that result in us being more protective of children and constantly aware of their location and circumstances.
But the one thing that I have noticed during the past few years is that the kids that I see at many different bus stops in many different school districts as I travel to work aren’t in a hurry to get to the bus stop. There may be many reasons for this but I am wondering if part of it has to do with the parents.
Have parents created this situation because they do so much for their kids that the kids know the parents are really not in charge or in control.
Two weeks ago when I left for work and I got to the end of my street, I encountered a school bus waiting to pick up some kids from my street. I had passed these kids along the way.
The kids were still about 60 – 70 yards from the bus stop and they weren’t in a hurry to get to the bus. They just kept walking at the same pace even though they could see the waiting school bus.
The bus driver had to stay because if she left without the kids she would have been suspended and or fired because the parents would have complained to the school. And by the way the kids know this. The kids know how to get their parents to do what they (the kids) want.
Am I being judgmental? Probably, but I also know that if the kids are in charge they won’t learn what they need to about life, respect, authority, responsibility and so much more.
Maybe it’s too late and maybe their parents never learned any of this stuff either. I would rather believe there is hope for change but it will take parents getting involved and making changes in their kids’ lives, the schools and society as a whole.
If I compare things as they are now with what it was like when I was a kid in school things are a little different. My friends and I didn’t ride in a school bus even though we may have lived about a mile from the school.
We lived in a small town of about 7.000 people in upstate Pennsylvania and our school district encompassed my home town and some surrounding towns and townships. I don’t know if riding the school bus was ever an option for us but I don’t remember that we wanted to.
Granted societal and cultural changes have occurred since then that result in us being more protective of children and constantly aware of their location and circumstances.
But the one thing that I have noticed during the past few years is that the kids that I see at many different bus stops in many different school districts as I travel to work aren’t in a hurry to get to the bus stop. There may be many reasons for this but I am wondering if part of it has to do with the parents.
Have parents created this situation because they do so much for their kids that the kids know the parents are really not in charge or in control.
Two weeks ago when I left for work and I got to the end of my street, I encountered a school bus waiting to pick up some kids from my street. I had passed these kids along the way.
The kids were still about 60 – 70 yards from the bus stop and they weren’t in a hurry to get to the bus. They just kept walking at the same pace even though they could see the waiting school bus.
The bus driver had to stay because if she left without the kids she would have been suspended and or fired because the parents would have complained to the school. And by the way the kids know this. The kids know how to get their parents to do what they (the kids) want.
Am I being judgmental? Probably, but I also know that if the kids are in charge they won’t learn what they need to about life, respect, authority, responsibility and so much more.
Maybe it’s too late and maybe their parents never learned any of this stuff either. I would rather believe there is hope for change but it will take parents getting involved and making changes in their kids’ lives, the schools and society as a whole.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
The Unexamined Life
Chapter 2 in the book ‘Man in the Mirror’ by Patrick Morley is titled ‘The Unexamined Life’.
And in the beginning of the Chapter he shows a quote from Plato, ‘the life which is unexamined is not worth living’.
He points out there is a 'visible you' and a 'real you'. The visible you is the you that is known by others and is never the real you. It is based on how we have learned to speak and act. We work hard to project a certain image of ourselves to others.
The 'real you' is the you that is known by God.
At the end of the chapter he asks a number of questions designed to help us with self examination, but three stand out.
Are you willing to allow God to show you yourself as you really are?
What are some of the things you might find out about yourself?
What kind of commitment would you be willing to make to self examination in terms of time and effort?
Can you answer these questions honestly?
‘Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free’ (John 8:32)
Friday, March 7, 2008
What will you do?
‘If you want something you’ve never had before, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done before’.
This quote was on an Alumni Newsletter I received recently. Unfortunately it wasn’t attributed to anyone.
I believe it applies to everything in life. And most times the more difficult the challenge the greater the reward and satisfaction of the accomplishment.
Compare the above quote with one I have occasionally heard that states: ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result’.
I think too many people want something but aren’t willing to make a change or do the work to get it. They may be too comfortable in what they are currently doing or may be naïve about how life works.
How about you? What do you want and what are you willing to do to get it?
Excuses won’t get you there.
You have to make the decision, set the goal and put in the effort.
This quote was on an Alumni Newsletter I received recently. Unfortunately it wasn’t attributed to anyone.
I believe it applies to everything in life. And most times the more difficult the challenge the greater the reward and satisfaction of the accomplishment.
Compare the above quote with one I have occasionally heard that states: ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result’.
I think too many people want something but aren’t willing to make a change or do the work to get it. They may be too comfortable in what they are currently doing or may be naïve about how life works.
How about you? What do you want and what are you willing to do to get it?
Excuses won’t get you there.
You have to make the decision, set the goal and put in the effort.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Getting Side Tracked
I am kind of stuck between wanting to help two groups of people – those who are far from God and those who already know Him. If I have a preference it is for the latter group.
Each group is important to God’s Kingdom for a different reason. We are called by God to reach out to those far from Him and encourage them to follow Christ. At the same time we are called to make disciples of those who already know Him. Disciples are those who know Him and have a desire to be more like Him and to use their faith to serve Him.
If we get side-tracked we won’t be the kind of people that God can use to reach either of those groups. What can side-track us? The following post from Steve Farrar’s web site is an example for those of you who already say that you know God.
How to Avoid a Shipwreck
David’s sin with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah cost him a huge price. It cost him the life of his infant son, it cost him the rape of his daughter by his oldest son, and it cost him dearly when his son Absalom killed his brother Amnon to avenge the rape of Tamar. David was never the same after his adultery. Before he shipwrecked his life with Bathsheba, David’s life was characterized by triumph. Afterward, there is only one word to describe the rest of David’s life, and that word is “trouble.”
The next time some sin looks particularly attractive, remember the consequences of sin that haunted David for the rest of his life. No matter how alluring the sin looks right now, it will wind up costing you more than you are willing to pay.
--Steve Farrar
Don’t assume you can beat things by yourself. The enemy loves when you think that because he knows you are very susceptible to temptation. The Message has a great way of stating it in Proverbs 16:18 - First pride, then the crash— the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.
Take heed.
Steve Farrar’s site is located at: http://www.stevefarrar.org/
Each group is important to God’s Kingdom for a different reason. We are called by God to reach out to those far from Him and encourage them to follow Christ. At the same time we are called to make disciples of those who already know Him. Disciples are those who know Him and have a desire to be more like Him and to use their faith to serve Him.
If we get side-tracked we won’t be the kind of people that God can use to reach either of those groups. What can side-track us? The following post from Steve Farrar’s web site is an example for those of you who already say that you know God.
How to Avoid a Shipwreck
David’s sin with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah cost him a huge price. It cost him the life of his infant son, it cost him the rape of his daughter by his oldest son, and it cost him dearly when his son Absalom killed his brother Amnon to avenge the rape of Tamar. David was never the same after his adultery. Before he shipwrecked his life with Bathsheba, David’s life was characterized by triumph. Afterward, there is only one word to describe the rest of David’s life, and that word is “trouble.”
The next time some sin looks particularly attractive, remember the consequences of sin that haunted David for the rest of his life. No matter how alluring the sin looks right now, it will wind up costing you more than you are willing to pay.
--Steve Farrar
Don’t assume you can beat things by yourself. The enemy loves when you think that because he knows you are very susceptible to temptation. The Message has a great way of stating it in Proverbs 16:18 - First pride, then the crash— the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.
Take heed.
Steve Farrar’s site is located at: http://www.stevefarrar.org/
Volunteers..............Priceless!
Monthly Breakfast Meetings for CCV Men have been occurring for about three or more years at CCV. We started out at a local diner with a few guys and then moved to the CCV office when the office was in a local strip shopping center.
After the new CCV Building opened we moved there and have been meeting there ever since. We have had events of varying attendance and I don’t think the size of the group has had much of an impact on the discussions or relationship building.
These meetings work because of the involvement and commitment of a number of guys who volunteer to help. The volunteers are just like the body as described in 1 Corinthians 12:21–31 where the parts are different but work together as one. And without one of the parts we struggle to achieve the desired result.
These guys don’t like to be recognized but I believe it is important to occasionally acknowledge the men who volunteer and work to make the event better. Here’s an alphabetical list:
Ernie Adams
Harry Chamberlain
Perry Corda
Mike Durkin
Bill Rinker
Ron Rouzer
Bill Shifflett
Jeff Whitebread
I am thankful for their help and encouragement. If you have attended a CCV Men – Breakfast event you should thank them for coming early to set up and staying after to tear down and clean up. If you don’t know them all personally you may recognize their names because they are involved in other areas at CCV.
Most likely they have greeted you when you attended and encouraged you either at a table discussion or in a discussion afterward. And you may have even developed a friendship with one or more of them.
We are a body and the men who volunteer to serve at the breakfast successfully exemplify this.
Gentlemen, we thank you!
After the new CCV Building opened we moved there and have been meeting there ever since. We have had events of varying attendance and I don’t think the size of the group has had much of an impact on the discussions or relationship building.
These meetings work because of the involvement and commitment of a number of guys who volunteer to help. The volunteers are just like the body as described in 1 Corinthians 12:21–31 where the parts are different but work together as one. And without one of the parts we struggle to achieve the desired result.
These guys don’t like to be recognized but I believe it is important to occasionally acknowledge the men who volunteer and work to make the event better. Here’s an alphabetical list:
Ernie Adams
Harry Chamberlain
Perry Corda
Mike Durkin
Bill Rinker
Ron Rouzer
Bill Shifflett
Jeff Whitebread
I am thankful for their help and encouragement. If you have attended a CCV Men – Breakfast event you should thank them for coming early to set up and staying after to tear down and clean up. If you don’t know them all personally you may recognize their names because they are involved in other areas at CCV.
Most likely they have greeted you when you attended and encouraged you either at a table discussion or in a discussion afterward. And you may have even developed a friendship with one or more of them.
We are a body and the men who volunteer to serve at the breakfast successfully exemplify this.
Gentlemen, we thank you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
