‘Never enough time’
‘In over my head’
‘My life is out of control’
‘I may not be better off than my parents’
‘Pursuing a dream which always seems just out of reach’
If you have ever thought to yourself or heard anyone you know say any of the above phrases then the book ‘The Man in the Mirror’ by Patrick Morley may be of interest or helpful to you.. This book has sold over 2.5 million copies and is subtitled, ‘Solving the 24 problems men face’.
In the Introduction Morley points out how we men can get so caught up in life. ‘We Americans are so up to our ears in duties and debts – we just don’t want to know (how others are doing). We have so many problems of our own, there is no time left for anyone else – we just don’t have the time to want an answer’.
He then addresses that out of control feeling many men have. ‘More than a few men are swamped – they are in over their heads. After taking care of their own problems they have no capacity left over to help anyone else. They don’t understand why they are so caught up in the rat race, and their lives are frequently spinning out of control’.
According to Morley many men are wondering if they are better off. ‘Other men sense that something isn’t quite right about their lives, but they can’t quite put their finger on the answer. An eerie feeling lingers that they may be running in the wrong race. They see that they are more financially successful than their parents, but they suspect that they may not be better off’.
Morley then raises the point that men may be trying to win the wrong race. ‘…the term rat race has evolved to describe the hopeless pursuit of a good life always just out of reach – a treadmill upon which we can’t stop walking or we will fall off. Many of us today are trying to win the wrong race.
He states at the end of the Introduction that he ‘believes you will be a happier, more focused man when you finish’ reading the book. You will have to read the book and make that determination yourself.
Watch for a discussion of the first chapter titled ‘The Rat Race’.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Women in Leadership
The Day
Saturday, February 23, 2008 at 7:00AM
The Weather
Snow, sleet and freezing rain on Friday. Some freezing rain overnight into Saturday morning
The Event
CCV Men – Breakfast (a Monthly Event)
The Purpose
To help men grow in their relationships and grow closer to God
The Topic
Women in Leadership
The Speakers
Two CCV Church Leaders
Diane Karchner is on the CCV Leadership Team, works in the Corporate World and is a Volunteer Leader at CCV
Terri Stone is on the CCV Staff, has worked in the Corporate World and Leads both men and women Volunteers at CCV
Notable
The Speakers were women
The audience was made up of 33 men - many, if not most of them who are leaders in the church
*The audience included:
*Two Senior CCV staff members
*A member of the CCV Leadership Team
*Four current Home Team Coaches
*One former Home Team Coach
*Several Ministry Leaders
*A few current and former Home Team Leaders
*Numerous CCV Volunteers
Summary
The weather did not deter those who had scheduled to attend.
The discussion revolved around women leading in the Workplace and in the Church. Issues that women face in each of those settings as well as in the home.
Diane and Terri also discussed how they are developing a Ministry to Women at CCV and had 100 women attend their most recent event.
The response to the discussion and the feedback from the men was positive.
This is the third year that Diane and Terri have spoken to the men at this event and the response is always positive and thought provoking.
The speakers were inspired as they were introduced to the theme ‘We will Rock You’ by Queen.
We will be booking them for another event in 2009.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Role Model
Charles Barkley, a former All-pro basketball player and television analyst, created a great deal of controversy in 1993 by stating that he was not a role model for American youth. He had stated this throughout his career and the same year as being chosen the NBA MVP he stated as much when he wrote the text in an ‘I am not a role model’ Nike commercial.
His argument which is recounted in Wikipedia, ‘..is a call for parents and teachers to quit looking to him to ‘raise your kids’ and instead be role models themselves. And what they're (the media) really doing is telling kids to look up to someone they can't become, because not many people can be like we are. Kids can't be like Michael Jordan ‘.
Your kids need someone to look up to who can become their role models. I raise this point as a result of a discussion we had today with some friends at lunch when the discussion came to talking with your kids about sex.
It’s not just talking with your kids it is also the example that you set – the life you live. They need to see the life modeled in you.
Each parent plays a significant role in the lives of their children. A man has a very significant impact and as a role model he shows his son the proper way to treat a woman and he shows his daughter the way to expect to be properly treated by a man. Are you portraying the best example? A simple way to find out is by thinking about how you are treating your wife.
Barkley is right to a degree. As a basketball player he could model playing basketball but he couldn’t model how to live life because kids didn’t see him constantly in all different life situations. Plus he did not have a vested interest in the development of the kids who were his fans.
But you, as a man, will constantly model attitudes and behaviors in all types of life situations to your kids. Your example is crucial to their development, their future and their future family.
I think a great compliment to you, men, is that people would say that your son is a lot like you. And a compliment for you regarding your daughter is that her boyfriend or fiancée or is a lot like you.
You have to be up to the challenge. You have to want the ball when the game is on the line.
Don’t drop the ball!
His argument which is recounted in Wikipedia, ‘..is a call for parents and teachers to quit looking to him to ‘raise your kids’ and instead be role models themselves. And what they're (the media) really doing is telling kids to look up to someone they can't become, because not many people can be like we are. Kids can't be like Michael Jordan ‘.
Your kids need someone to look up to who can become their role models. I raise this point as a result of a discussion we had today with some friends at lunch when the discussion came to talking with your kids about sex.
It’s not just talking with your kids it is also the example that you set – the life you live. They need to see the life modeled in you.
Each parent plays a significant role in the lives of their children. A man has a very significant impact and as a role model he shows his son the proper way to treat a woman and he shows his daughter the way to expect to be properly treated by a man. Are you portraying the best example? A simple way to find out is by thinking about how you are treating your wife.
Barkley is right to a degree. As a basketball player he could model playing basketball but he couldn’t model how to live life because kids didn’t see him constantly in all different life situations. Plus he did not have a vested interest in the development of the kids who were his fans.
But you, as a man, will constantly model attitudes and behaviors in all types of life situations to your kids. Your example is crucial to their development, their future and their future family.
I think a great compliment to you, men, is that people would say that your son is a lot like you. And a compliment for you regarding your daughter is that her boyfriend or fiancée or is a lot like you.
You have to be up to the challenge. You have to want the ball when the game is on the line.
Don’t drop the ball!
Friday, February 22, 2008
Big Enough to see How Small He is
This line is from the movie ‘3:10 to Yuma’ starring Russell Crowe and Christian Bale. It’s a western and was really a good movie.
But the more I think about that line the more I realize what a great line it is. Man can I think of a lot of people that I have known that need to start thinking like this about themselves.
There was this arrogant Sales Manager I used to work for who wanted everything done his way.
That brainiac kid in high school with the attitude that he was better than everyone else and who went to MIT or Cornell.
A high school friend who seemed to be good at all sports and always loved to beat me at whatever we played.
And that recent President who runs around telling everyone to tell the truth when he was indicted and convicted because he didn’t.
How about almost all the politicians I’ve seen or heard.
These people really reach me! If you knew some of the guys I grew up with you would have the same attitude.
What’s that you say? Maybe I should be on this list? What are you talking about?
I don’t think I understand why you would have that attitude. I love people. It’s just that there are some I don’t like. That’s life, right?
I’m a decent, humble guy. Ask the people who know me. Check with the people at church where I volunteer.
So you're telling me that if I have to say that I’m humble, then I’m not. Now you’re starting to twist my words around. What’s the matter with you?
You know there was a time when I used to think and act that way most of the time. But since I have come to know Jesus, and have a desire to be like Him, I don’t act that way as often and I try to do things that are more like He would want me to do them. What a life changer!
It can be that way for you too. Check Him out.
But the more I think about that line the more I realize what a great line it is. Man can I think of a lot of people that I have known that need to start thinking like this about themselves.
There was this arrogant Sales Manager I used to work for who wanted everything done his way.
That brainiac kid in high school with the attitude that he was better than everyone else and who went to MIT or Cornell.
A high school friend who seemed to be good at all sports and always loved to beat me at whatever we played.
And that recent President who runs around telling everyone to tell the truth when he was indicted and convicted because he didn’t.
How about almost all the politicians I’ve seen or heard.
These people really reach me! If you knew some of the guys I grew up with you would have the same attitude.
What’s that you say? Maybe I should be on this list? What are you talking about?
I don’t think I understand why you would have that attitude. I love people. It’s just that there are some I don’t like. That’s life, right?
I’m a decent, humble guy. Ask the people who know me. Check with the people at church where I volunteer.
So you're telling me that if I have to say that I’m humble, then I’m not. Now you’re starting to twist my words around. What’s the matter with you?
You know there was a time when I used to think and act that way most of the time. But since I have come to know Jesus, and have a desire to be like Him, I don’t act that way as often and I try to do things that are more like He would want me to do them. What a life changer!
It can be that way for you too. Check Him out.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Ordering a Medium at Starbucks
Ordering a Medium at Starbucks
We visited with our daughter and her Fiancée in New York City a few weeks ago. They have lived in NYC for about four years and truly love it.
They love the city, they love to explore it and they love to experience it. There are a lot of cool things there that they have taken us to see and experience although on most trips there I am a little uncomfortable. I’m ok with just an occasional visit.
It was a fun trip as first we spent some time talking with them in their apartment and got caught up on their lives that are pretty hectic right now.
Next we went to Pete’s Tavern for lunch and discussed lots of stuff and then went to the building where they are getting married in the fall. It’s not a church but a renovated warehouse. And the day we were there they were shooting a movie or TV show at that building so we couldn’t see the entire building.
Prior to getting on the subway for the visit to that building, we stopped at Starbucks to get something to drink. Everyone there was ordering a something, something, something with two shots of something, something.
I don’t go to Starbucks very often, I’m sure you can’t tell that so I figured I would order in American rather than in Starbuckese. A little Intergalactic, don’t you think?
I ordered a medium, unsweetened iced green tea. Some people looked at me but most weren’t interested in what I was ordering. I think the Yankees hat threw them off.
I just thought it was interesting that I could use language that was different than what they were accustomed to in their world and there were no repercussions but when someone comes in to our world we get upset and sometime down right offended because they don’t know or use the terms we do.
What was it that the Apostle Paul said? When in Starbucks do as the Starbuckians do! I think there is a corollary here and that is when the Starbuckians come to visit us don’t insist they know or use your language.
Warp speed, Mr. Spock.
We visited with our daughter and her Fiancée in New York City a few weeks ago. They have lived in NYC for about four years and truly love it.
They love the city, they love to explore it and they love to experience it. There are a lot of cool things there that they have taken us to see and experience although on most trips there I am a little uncomfortable. I’m ok with just an occasional visit.
It was a fun trip as first we spent some time talking with them in their apartment and got caught up on their lives that are pretty hectic right now.
Next we went to Pete’s Tavern for lunch and discussed lots of stuff and then went to the building where they are getting married in the fall. It’s not a church but a renovated warehouse. And the day we were there they were shooting a movie or TV show at that building so we couldn’t see the entire building.
Prior to getting on the subway for the visit to that building, we stopped at Starbucks to get something to drink. Everyone there was ordering a something, something, something with two shots of something, something.
I don’t go to Starbucks very often, I’m sure you can’t tell that so I figured I would order in American rather than in Starbuckese. A little Intergalactic, don’t you think?
I ordered a medium, unsweetened iced green tea. Some people looked at me but most weren’t interested in what I was ordering. I think the Yankees hat threw them off.
I just thought it was interesting that I could use language that was different than what they were accustomed to in their world and there were no repercussions but when someone comes in to our world we get upset and sometime down right offended because they don’t know or use the terms we do.
What was it that the Apostle Paul said? When in Starbucks do as the Starbuckians do! I think there is a corollary here and that is when the Starbuckians come to visit us don’t insist they know or use your language.
Warp speed, Mr. Spock.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Grow the Man
While watching the show ‘High Net Worth’, on Sunday night on MSNBC, I saw a piece on the organization, Retirement Services of Alabama, which has invested Alabama State Retirement funds in Golf Courses and Hotels in Alabama and has helped to grow a thriving tourism business. The success has been enviable.
What caught my attention was the vision of the Director. The vision is two-fold: Grow the fund and make life better for people in Alabama.
I was in the process of writing this piece and struggling with the direction and content.
It occurred to me that what I see as the vision for the Men of Christ’s Church of the Valley (CCV) is closely related and is: Grow the Man and make life better. By helping men to recognize the issues they have to deal with and helping them to grow through these issues, life will become better for them, their families, the church and the local community.
This is what we are working to accomplish at the monthly CCV Men – Breakfast which is one of the events for men at CCV. Other and different activities and events will be planned and scheduled for the future.
The next CCV Men - Breakfast is Saturday, February 23, at 7:00 AM. Details on signup are available at the CCV Web Site.
http://www.moviechurch.com/event/2008-02-23-ccv-men-breakfast
What caught my attention was the vision of the Director. The vision is two-fold: Grow the fund and make life better for people in Alabama.
I was in the process of writing this piece and struggling with the direction and content.
It occurred to me that what I see as the vision for the Men of Christ’s Church of the Valley (CCV) is closely related and is: Grow the Man and make life better. By helping men to recognize the issues they have to deal with and helping them to grow through these issues, life will become better for them, their families, the church and the local community.
This is what we are working to accomplish at the monthly CCV Men – Breakfast which is one of the events for men at CCV. Other and different activities and events will be planned and scheduled for the future.
The next CCV Men - Breakfast is Saturday, February 23, at 7:00 AM. Details on signup are available at the CCV Web Site.
http://www.moviechurch.com/event/2008-02-23-ccv-men-breakfast
Friday, February 15, 2008
Ever Been Taken for a Ride?
Have you ever helped someone who was down on their luck and then found out that they were taking advantage of you or playing you?
They were able to convince you that they were in dire straits and they convinced you to give them something like money, food, clothing, shelter, a job or a car.
What did you do? How did you feel when you gave them something? How did you feel after you found out they took advantage of you?
Many years ago we helped a couple that had moved to our area from California and this family ended up in difficult circumstances. The man had accepted a job in our area, moved his family here, worked a few days and then lost his job.
They were a family with two young kids and went to our church. They were nice people and we got along well with them.
We invited them to our house many times for dinner and my wife ended up buying food and other stuff for the woman and the children when they went out together. We were glad to be able to help although at that time we weren’t making a lot of money.
We started giving them money every week for several weeks to help with groceries and other expenses. Giving that money impacted the lifestyle of my wife and I and our small kids. But we were glad to help.
After awhile it seemed like they were taking advantage of us. The stories they told got twisted around, it seemed like there were some contradictions and the guy had all these grandiose plans that never seemed to work out.
We decided to stop helping them after we discussed them and their situation with some other families from our church. It turned out that these families were also helping the other family. Our friends were beginning to have doubts also and for similar reasons.
After we stopped giving them money the family stopped calling us and didn’t come by. I think we may have ‘called them’ on the situation but I can’t recall definitely.
Were we wrong to stop helping them? I don’t know but it did not stop us from helping others. We do it because it is all God’s money and He asks us to take care of others out of the portion He gives us.
Craig Groeschel at Lifechurch.tv is beginning a series on a topic titled ‘Hostage’. Watch the video at his blog site. It is compelling. I had forgotten this family I talked about above but this video brought back some of the thoughts and feelings. I think there is a twist somewhere in the messages he will preach.
Is there a story you can tell or need to tell to get it off your chest? Don’t stop helping others.
Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYERgGRUn0A&eurl=http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/
Craig’s Blog
http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/
They were able to convince you that they were in dire straits and they convinced you to give them something like money, food, clothing, shelter, a job or a car.
What did you do? How did you feel when you gave them something? How did you feel after you found out they took advantage of you?
Many years ago we helped a couple that had moved to our area from California and this family ended up in difficult circumstances. The man had accepted a job in our area, moved his family here, worked a few days and then lost his job.
They were a family with two young kids and went to our church. They were nice people and we got along well with them.
We invited them to our house many times for dinner and my wife ended up buying food and other stuff for the woman and the children when they went out together. We were glad to be able to help although at that time we weren’t making a lot of money.
We started giving them money every week for several weeks to help with groceries and other expenses. Giving that money impacted the lifestyle of my wife and I and our small kids. But we were glad to help.
After awhile it seemed like they were taking advantage of us. The stories they told got twisted around, it seemed like there were some contradictions and the guy had all these grandiose plans that never seemed to work out.
We decided to stop helping them after we discussed them and their situation with some other families from our church. It turned out that these families were also helping the other family. Our friends were beginning to have doubts also and for similar reasons.
After we stopped giving them money the family stopped calling us and didn’t come by. I think we may have ‘called them’ on the situation but I can’t recall definitely.
Were we wrong to stop helping them? I don’t know but it did not stop us from helping others. We do it because it is all God’s money and He asks us to take care of others out of the portion He gives us.
Craig Groeschel at Lifechurch.tv is beginning a series on a topic titled ‘Hostage’. Watch the video at his blog site. It is compelling. I had forgotten this family I talked about above but this video brought back some of the thoughts and feelings. I think there is a twist somewhere in the messages he will preach.
Is there a story you can tell or need to tell to get it off your chest? Don’t stop helping others.
Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYERgGRUn0A&eurl=http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/
Craig’s Blog
http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
How do you react when things go wrong?
Man does defeat suck or what? You don’t want to think about it, talk about it, hear about it or relive it, do you? You may not even want to watch someone else go through it. I was watching American Idol again.
We want to talk about the good stuff - success, achieving goals, accomplishments, rewards, promotions, fun and money.
But we all know that defeat happens occasionally. Sometimes it comes in threes.
I checked the online Thesaurus for some synonyms for defeat and man it is depressing. Other words for defeat are devastation, hopelessness, annihilate, collapse, destruction, embarrassment, non-success, failure and overthrow.
Your attitude toward defeat will determine what happens in your future. It says a lot about you and it says a lot about your character. It impacts your children, your spouse, your family, your job, your friends and everything you do.
Defeat can help us learn if we will let it. It’s an attitude thing. But before you can learn from defeat you have to be teachable. This means you have to be willing to learn. Be willing to let someone teach you.
We have choices we can make when things go wrong. I see three ways to react to defeat – we can ignore what happened and continue on like everything is fine, we can give up, or we can accept it as an opportunity and a challenge to learn and improve so we don’t continue to make the same mistakes.
I realized that I needed to learn from defeat as I continued to make the same mistakes over and over. My response when things went wrong was to walk away figuring I could start over some where else. I figured this would solve things but it didn’t because I wasn’t changing. It’s like the definition for insanity: doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result.
It’s likely your results or your behavior won’t change until you do. I wasn’t always very teachable but when I got to the place where I developed a relationship with God I realized I could change. So can you. Just ask me.
We want to talk about the good stuff - success, achieving goals, accomplishments, rewards, promotions, fun and money.
But we all know that defeat happens occasionally. Sometimes it comes in threes.
I checked the online Thesaurus for some synonyms for defeat and man it is depressing. Other words for defeat are devastation, hopelessness, annihilate, collapse, destruction, embarrassment, non-success, failure and overthrow.
Your attitude toward defeat will determine what happens in your future. It says a lot about you and it says a lot about your character. It impacts your children, your spouse, your family, your job, your friends and everything you do.
Defeat can help us learn if we will let it. It’s an attitude thing. But before you can learn from defeat you have to be teachable. This means you have to be willing to learn. Be willing to let someone teach you.
We have choices we can make when things go wrong. I see three ways to react to defeat – we can ignore what happened and continue on like everything is fine, we can give up, or we can accept it as an opportunity and a challenge to learn and improve so we don’t continue to make the same mistakes.
I realized that I needed to learn from defeat as I continued to make the same mistakes over and over. My response when things went wrong was to walk away figuring I could start over some where else. I figured this would solve things but it didn’t because I wasn’t changing. It’s like the definition for insanity: doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result.
It’s likely your results or your behavior won’t change until you do. I wasn’t always very teachable but when I got to the place where I developed a relationship with God I realized I could change. So can you. Just ask me.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Most Likely to…
Remember high school days when someone in your class was chosen as most likely to succeed? Were you chosen as that person? I was not and I think the odds are good that neither were you.
Is success that hard to achieve that only one person in a high school class can be successful? I guess it depends on how you define success.
It seems that many, if not most, people today define success in cultural terms - money, position, power, possessions, degrees, titles, etc. Many people have lots of that stuff but for many of them there is still something missing.
Have you ever thought about what could be missing in someone’s life that you consider successful? You might even be that person and maybe you recognize something isn’t quite right in your life.
What is occurring in your life that could lead you to think that way? Is there boredom, dissatisfaction, frustration, anger, addiction or lack of fulfillment?
Did you ever get a feeling that no matter what you tried, be it a new job, a new spouse, another vacation, a car or whatever, the satisfaction would wear off quickly?
Maybe we are giving an award for the wrong reason because we are letting the culture establish the criteria that we have been using. Is the culture concerned about you? Why would the culture care if you succeeded? The culture is only interested in its continued existence not in you or anything about you.
A better award would be to vote for the person most likely to be significant. This is someone who is significant in the life of their family, friends, company, community, organization, church, etc.
By being significant you can impact the culture and others and not be controlled by the culture. It’s a change of focus for many and there is someone who can help you become significant.
Is success that hard to achieve that only one person in a high school class can be successful? I guess it depends on how you define success.
It seems that many, if not most, people today define success in cultural terms - money, position, power, possessions, degrees, titles, etc. Many people have lots of that stuff but for many of them there is still something missing.
Have you ever thought about what could be missing in someone’s life that you consider successful? You might even be that person and maybe you recognize something isn’t quite right in your life.
What is occurring in your life that could lead you to think that way? Is there boredom, dissatisfaction, frustration, anger, addiction or lack of fulfillment?
Did you ever get a feeling that no matter what you tried, be it a new job, a new spouse, another vacation, a car or whatever, the satisfaction would wear off quickly?
Maybe we are giving an award for the wrong reason because we are letting the culture establish the criteria that we have been using. Is the culture concerned about you? Why would the culture care if you succeeded? The culture is only interested in its continued existence not in you or anything about you.
A better award would be to vote for the person most likely to be significant. This is someone who is significant in the life of their family, friends, company, community, organization, church, etc.
By being significant you can impact the culture and others and not be controlled by the culture. It’s a change of focus for many and there is someone who can help you become significant.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Second Chances
While watching American Idol this past week I noticed several things about the competition.
Many contestants have no talent. I can’t sing and even I can recognize that.
Many contestants think they need some kind of gimmick to get chosen. The gimmicks didn’t work.
The contestants who were chosen exhibited more talent than any one person should be allowed to have in my estimation. It was a pleasure listening to these contestants sing.
But what struck me most were the contestants who had auditioned in previous years, were rejected and came back to audition again. They may have suffered humiliation at the hands of Simon but they believed they had the talent and wanted another chance.
They were given that second chance. They were given that chance and what they wanted most was to hear the words, ‘Dog, you’re going to Hollywood’. Idol is all about performance.
When you forgive someone you give them a second chance. I am thankful for forgiveness. I can’t tell you how many times I have done something where I have had to ask another to forgive me. It’s not always easy to ask.
I had to ask forgiveness today for something I said about a friend last week at a meeting. He wasn’t at the meeting and the more I thought about it the more I realized I needed to confess to him and ask his forgiveness. He was more than gracious and told me it was not a problem. He exemplified the love his Savior had taught him.
Sometimes it is harder to forgive, especially when you have been hurt so badly and so intensely that you think you can never forgive the person who hurt you. Some people hold grudges for many years.
We are called to forgive just as our Savior did when He was on the cross, ‘Father forgive them for they know not what they do’. Because of him we have a second chance.
Has someone given you a second chance? Do you need to give someone a second chance? Now is the time to do it. It will make you feel better. Live the way you are called to. Can you offer any examples of forgiveness?
Many contestants have no talent. I can’t sing and even I can recognize that.
Many contestants think they need some kind of gimmick to get chosen. The gimmicks didn’t work.
The contestants who were chosen exhibited more talent than any one person should be allowed to have in my estimation. It was a pleasure listening to these contestants sing.
But what struck me most were the contestants who had auditioned in previous years, were rejected and came back to audition again. They may have suffered humiliation at the hands of Simon but they believed they had the talent and wanted another chance.
They were given that second chance. They were given that chance and what they wanted most was to hear the words, ‘Dog, you’re going to Hollywood’. Idol is all about performance.
When you forgive someone you give them a second chance. I am thankful for forgiveness. I can’t tell you how many times I have done something where I have had to ask another to forgive me. It’s not always easy to ask.
I had to ask forgiveness today for something I said about a friend last week at a meeting. He wasn’t at the meeting and the more I thought about it the more I realized I needed to confess to him and ask his forgiveness. He was more than gracious and told me it was not a problem. He exemplified the love his Savior had taught him.
Sometimes it is harder to forgive, especially when you have been hurt so badly and so intensely that you think you can never forgive the person who hurt you. Some people hold grudges for many years.
We are called to forgive just as our Savior did when He was on the cross, ‘Father forgive them for they know not what they do’. Because of him we have a second chance.
Has someone given you a second chance? Do you need to give someone a second chance? Now is the time to do it. It will make you feel better. Live the way you are called to. Can you offer any examples of forgiveness?
How honest?
If someone were to ask you is honesty the best policy for your life how would you respond?
I read two opposing pieces this week which provided some interesting views.
Alfred Lubrano in Saturday’s, 2/9/08, Philadelphia Inquirer writes in an article titled: ‘Unconventional Wisdom: Lie to your lover: Honesty can be far from the best policy.’
Recently, the people who publish Harlequin romance novels - famous for finding 1,500 or so euphemisms for the word sex - came out with the 2008 Harlequin Romance Report. In it, they analyze the ego-saving white lie.
According to the survey, 63 percent of Americans consider the canard blanc to be "an acceptable and even welcome part of any relationship."
The Harlequinians say that the most ubiquitous of all white lies is, not surprisingly, the response to the question, "Do I look fat in this?"
The survey shows that 61 percent of American men will always answer, "No," no matter what.
In another piece titled ‘To Tell the Truth’ at Lifeway.com, Rodney & Selma Wilson, authors and speakers on marriage and family, state:
In marriage, truthfulness is often reassuring and uplifting. However, the truth can sting.
Regardless of your mate’s anticipated response, honesty is always the godly choice. In the midst of any awkwardness or pain, you will find peace of mind in knowing your mate loves you enough to communicate honestly.
The Wilson’s continue: Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). What the Lord says is always truth — whether it’s encouraging, reassuring, healing, or convicting. This rock-solid security is comforting, and this sense of security extends to the marriage relationship when truthfulness is constant.
Although the truth can hurt, and hurt for awhile, I think telling the truth is the best option. But I have recently found that discretion is required in order to determine what should be told voluntarily to another.
I read two opposing pieces this week which provided some interesting views.
Alfred Lubrano in Saturday’s, 2/9/08, Philadelphia Inquirer writes in an article titled: ‘Unconventional Wisdom: Lie to your lover: Honesty can be far from the best policy.’
Recently, the people who publish Harlequin romance novels - famous for finding 1,500 or so euphemisms for the word sex - came out with the 2008 Harlequin Romance Report. In it, they analyze the ego-saving white lie.
According to the survey, 63 percent of Americans consider the canard blanc to be "an acceptable and even welcome part of any relationship."
The Harlequinians say that the most ubiquitous of all white lies is, not surprisingly, the response to the question, "Do I look fat in this?"
The survey shows that 61 percent of American men will always answer, "No," no matter what.
In another piece titled ‘To Tell the Truth’ at Lifeway.com, Rodney & Selma Wilson, authors and speakers on marriage and family, state:
In marriage, truthfulness is often reassuring and uplifting. However, the truth can sting.
Regardless of your mate’s anticipated response, honesty is always the godly choice. In the midst of any awkwardness or pain, you will find peace of mind in knowing your mate loves you enough to communicate honestly.
The Wilson’s continue: Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). What the Lord says is always truth — whether it’s encouraging, reassuring, healing, or convicting. This rock-solid security is comforting, and this sense of security extends to the marriage relationship when truthfulness is constant.
Although the truth can hurt, and hurt for awhile, I think telling the truth is the best option. But I have recently found that discretion is required in order to determine what should be told voluntarily to another.
Friday, February 8, 2008
He knows where you live
Some interesting things have been happening to me recently. Many might say they are pure coincidence.
A few weeks ago I spoke with a Life Coach, who I had never met or talked with previously, and he zeroed in immediately on some issues I have been dealing with. Coincidence?
On Thursday morning I had breakfast with a friend and I felt compelled to talk about some things I had never previously discussed with him. Things that had been bothering me for a while and about which he provided good advice and some challenge. Coincidence?
On Thursday night at a meeting I attended a discussion arose about discipleship and what we need to do and how we can disciple others. This is an area that I have avoided because of some of the requirements, specifically memorization. Coincidence?
Interestingly, an important part of discipleship is our example and I am not sure I was a good example at this meeting.
On Friday, I met with a friend for coffee and he immediately went to the discipleship discussion with no prompting or questions from me. We both have talked about this in the past and we have come to the conclusion that this is what we are supposed to do. Coincidence?
I don’t believe in coincidence or alignment of the stars or reading tea leaves, etc. I know where all of this is coming from and now I need to respond in the appropriate way.
A few weeks ago I spoke with a Life Coach, who I had never met or talked with previously, and he zeroed in immediately on some issues I have been dealing with. Coincidence?
On Thursday morning I had breakfast with a friend and I felt compelled to talk about some things I had never previously discussed with him. Things that had been bothering me for a while and about which he provided good advice and some challenge. Coincidence?
On Thursday night at a meeting I attended a discussion arose about discipleship and what we need to do and how we can disciple others. This is an area that I have avoided because of some of the requirements, specifically memorization. Coincidence?
Interestingly, an important part of discipleship is our example and I am not sure I was a good example at this meeting.
On Friday, I met with a friend for coffee and he immediately went to the discipleship discussion with no prompting or questions from me. We both have talked about this in the past and we have come to the conclusion that this is what we are supposed to do. Coincidence?
I don’t believe in coincidence or alignment of the stars or reading tea leaves, etc. I know where all of this is coming from and now I need to respond in the appropriate way.
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