To Humor or not to Humor

How important is your behavior with different types of people? Another way to state this is, does it matter if you can relate to many types of people?

I was part of a discussion recently where a question like this was asked of us. There were numerous suggestions including be yourself, God made you the way you are, it depends on your audience, the Apostle Paul was all things to all people and some others.

I think it depends on your objectives. What are you trying to accomplish? If it involves people then you will have to learn how to influence them to get the outcomes you desire.  To influence people you need to relate to them through your words, your actions, your appearance and your behavior.

There is choice to be made here. Do you remain the way you are or do you try to become better at relating?

In most cases you will need to act differently with kids than with adults. Although with your adult friends you may act more like a kid than you do with the kids. The relationship you have developed with your friends over time will determine how you act with them.

For a presentation to potential investors or to people you want to join your team to accomplish some important objectives or to hire you you should act differently if you want results. Not like a teenager or immature adult. People won’t trust you and take you seriously. They won’t trust you with their money or their time if they are busy.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t use humor if it is one of your traits or gifts from God. Don’t overuse humor all the time. Humor is very effective in communication if used properly and at the right time. If you aren’t sure how to use it search the internet, get some books, find an effective speaker or trainer who uses humor well and watch and learn or find someone skillful in using humor to mentor you.

Choose whom you listen to and whom you get your advice from carefully. That means use your discernment or learn how to develop that discernment because your life or career may be in the balance.

As part of the process you will also have to learn how to read people for feedback to know when you are effective in your communication.

To be effective with people you need to influence them

To influence them you need to relate to them

To relate to them you need to make them feel comfortable with you.

When they are comfortable with you they will listen to you, support you and help you achieve the goals you have.

You could say relationships make the world go ‘round.

A Manhood Definition

I have been in a number of meetings where the question came up many times about a definition of manhood. Many of the meetings were where men were asking questions because they had young boys and they wanted to know how to raise them and other meetings were with authors or speakers who were imparting their knowledge and wisdom about this topic and its importance.

While reading through a book I recently purchased I came on a good manhood definition. The book provides some explanation as to how the authors arrived at this definition that is helpful in understanding how a boy advances through puberty to manhood in ways other than physical.

The physical part is the easier part. Muscles develop, bones grow, voices change automatically. It's the intangibles like maturity, responsibility, accountability, learning etc. that can be more difficult to acquire especially if there is no one teaching the boy / young man.

A man, regardless of age, who has learned these things and can model manhood is the best teacher for boys. Even though we all haven't had a good model in our lives we can still learn how to be good at it. It takes effort and commitment and a desire to become better.

 A Definition of Manhood
A man is an adult male
who accepts his masculinity
speaks and acts with maturity
embraces responsibility
functions independently
can lead a family faithfully
and recognizes his accountability
as an image bearer of God
from 'The Resolution for Men' by Stephen & Alex Kendrick with Randy Alcorn

Most everything in life is a process. Some processes occur as a normal part of life and are automatic. Some require us to participate and to make decisions and take steps along the way. For manhood it's about the choices we make along the way.