How hard is it to do the right thing?

In the New York Times of Saturday, September 22, 2012, I saw an article titled ‘Doing the Right Thing, Whatever That Is’ by Alina Tugend. My curiosity is usually aroused when I see these kinds of articles.

The author begins by explaining a challenge she faced about a piece she wrote and she was being asked to phrase things in a way that she didn’t feel totally comfortable with. She then goes on to raise some other related examples and thoughts.

Where my interest was piqued was toward the end. In that section I noticed something that I thought was unusual and I’m wondering if you might come up with the same thought.

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She references in the article a former NY Times columnist named Randy Cohen who wrote the Ethicist column from 1999 to 2011.

The most common ethical question he (Cohen) was asked about over the years concerned a “duty to report.” That is, you find out a friend’s spouse is having an extramarital affair. A college roommate is cheating by downloading papers from the Internet.

Do you tell?

In terms of the friend, he said, it depends on whether you’re getting a strong message that the friend wants to know. If not, be silent, he said.

With the roommate question, Mr. Cohen, the author of “Be Good: How to Navigate the Ethics of Everything” (Chronicle Books, 2012), said he liked the rule some universities had come up with: You have a duty to act.

“You can talk to your roommate. You can go a professor or department chair and say there’s cheating going on without naming names. But you can’t do nothing,” he said.

So how do I feel now about my ethical quandary? The best I can do, I believe, is use what I’ve learned as a guideline for how I will address the next moral issue I will inevitably face.

As Mr. Cohen said: “We can’t ask people to be perfect. But we can ask them to strive to be good.”

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So by Cohen’s account it is more important to confront the academic cheater than the cheating spouse of the friend.  He says to only tell the friend that his spouse is cheating if the friend wants to know.  How would the friend know to ask you about that? Oh, I get it. You should just say to your friend ‘Do you want to know that your spouse is cheating?’ If he says yes then tell him and if he says no then you tell him to forget it and you don’t have any responsibility to tell him.

Whether you tell the friend or not most likely you are going to have a problem with your friend and his spouse. The spouse will be mad that you told your friend and your friend will be mad if you don't tell him. And I know it's easy to say just tell him. But what would you do?.

As I wondered about the importance of the academic cheating issue and why it was made so important I realized that this is the New York Times we’re talking about and in my opinion they believe more in the importance of the intellect and education than they do in the importance of a good marriage relationship.

Then I guess my question is ‘Is not doing the right thing, doing the right thing?’

Doing the Right Thing, Whatever That Is

 http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/22/your-money/doing-the-right-thing-whatever-that-is-shortcuts.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0