One way to keep in touch

I think we all like to look back at our past and think about all the great things we have done in our life - career, finances, education, marriage, family, etc. Most times we like to think we did a really good job.

But there is the occasional glitch in our lives that we are made aware of that doesn't fit the narrative.

While working with my wife recently to clean out some old boxes of stuff that I had accumulated my wife found a note to me from our daughter. I have a tendency to keep stuff that to many people doesn’t seem like it has much value. But I developed this attitude that things may be worth something some day and many times the value is in the eye of the beholder.

When I was young I spent a lot of time at my grandparents’ house where I used to go up in the attic and dig around through old toys, photos of people I didn’t know, letters, books and games. I always enjoyed doing that and so I think that may be a reason that I save a lot of things.

Well back to the letter. I would love to say that our daughter was congratulating me on being the best Dad in the world and she was so proud that I was her Dad. But that wasn’t the case.

Our relationship (between my daughter and I) had evolved with letters because we couldn’t always reasonably discuss things when we disagreed. I found that I usually drove my daughter to retire to her room where she slammed the door so we were aware she didn’t want any further contact with us for the immediate future.

So as a way to try to get her to see my point of view I would write her a brief letter and explain my thinking and tell her that she could either take it to heart or ignore it and we wouldn’t need to discuss it further. I would then slide the note under her door. Many times we never discussed the issue further.

I don’t recall the circumstances around this letter below but I’m sure something happened if she sent me a letter. You will get some idea of our relationship by reading it. She was 17 going on 18 at the time. I’m glad I kept it.

**************

Here is the text of the letter

Dad –

Sorry about not living up to my half (of) the bargain. I’m sorry – I take full responsibility – I was being lazy. Please forgive me!

Heart (she drew a heart) Kate

P.S. – If you don’t want me to eat the pasta in the fridge you have to tell me….as far as I knew that was “community property.” Sorry buddy!