What is it that is bothering me? Re-Post

This an item that I posted on August 29, 2007. The first entry on this blog.

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What is it that is bothering me?

Almost as quickly as I thought of the first question I thought of another, ‘What’s bothering me?” But I realized almost immediately that there is a difference.

The question, ‘What is it that is bothering me?’ is looking for the exact thing or problem that is affecting me.

The other question, ‘What’s bothering me’, is more general in nature and allows me some wiggle room so I can avoid the answer if I choose.

So the dilemma occurs. Do I really want to find out what is bothering me or do I want to go through some exercise, as I have done in the past, and arrive at some generalities and overworked reasons why I get bothered by stuff and try to make myself look good.

How do I get there? Flip a coin, base it on how I feel or be honest. I believe being honest (the current popular phrase is, being authentic) is the best approach, even though it does ruffle some feathers occasionally, when I have to involve others.

I don’t think anyone else is involved in this one but me. As happens many times when I get to the root of the issue, I cause most, if not all, of my own problems.

How about you? What do you have to say for yourself? Or are you hoping you will feel better reading about my struggles and problems?

I’ve got some stress in my life which I believe is caused by issues at work revolving around deadlines and deliverables and my own expectations. Sounds good doesn’t it.

The answer I just gave is for the second question I asked. But now that I start to think about the answer using question 1, a different answer appears.

I am stressed because I’m not trusting God. When I start to take things on personally, like I alone have to or can solve everything, I forget about God and I get stressed.

There’s a pattern here that I then project onto others. Like when I hear something where I think God should be included, and He isn’t, I get more upset. And so it continues.

I asked God to use me and put me where He wants me and now I’m complaining because He is doing that and I’m getting stressed. The stress comes because I am not trusting Him.

When I ask Him to help me or to show me what to do He usually does. I need to remember Phillipians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. It’s a matter of trust and belief.

Why don’t I trust Him? I let my humanness take over. Lord, forgive me and help me to do what you want.