Give it a go

It’s not always easy for men to ask for help whether from their spouse or from other men. But if a man has a friend who he likes to spend time with and as their friendship grows and their trust for each other grows they each realize they can ask each other for their opinions or thoughts on specific situations. This may be different for you because you probably think you have all the answers.

Being willing to ask about things then becomes the issue. Do you realize that people who know you well can figure out when you are hurting, under pressure or having some difficulty? And you don’t have to say anything for them to know this.

And then those who know you well wonder why doesn’t he ask me or someone else, he has a relationship with, for some assistance or guidance or how to handle these situations. It can come down to you looking foolish for asking some questions or looking foolish for not asking some questions. Either way you may look foolish. But if you think you are above the other man it will be hard to talk with him about these things. You are more concerned about 'losing face' than resolving the issue.

But from my own experience I have found that when you are sincerely seeking answers and willing to work to resolve situations then you gain even more respect. More respect than was previously afforded to you. And isn’t this what you really want?

If necessary, start small. Ask some lighter, easier questions that don’t make you feel too uncomfortable. And then progress from there. Take a step at a time. It can get easier over time depending on the issue. And as you develop the habit it should become easier.

In the quote below Howard Hendricks provides a simple explanation of how this type of relationship works.

‘…But has it ever occurred to you that spiritual growth is rarely the product of assimilating more information? If it were, we could have transformed the world several million books ago. But inasmuch as knowing Christ involves a relationship, growing in Christ also involves relationships. One of the most helpful of these involves a mentor. That’s because most of us don’t need to know more nearly as much as we need to be known more. We don’t need a set of principles to practice nearly as much as we need another person to help us. We need someone to believe in us, stand by us, guide us, model Christ for us. We need another’s encouragement, wisdom, example, and accountability. We need his smiles, his hugs, his frowns, his tears…People will forget most of what you say: they will forget almost nothing of what you do. Therefore, whatever behavior you model for your protégé is the pattern he will tend to follow – or in some cases reject.’

This quote is from Chuck Swindoll’s book ‘The Church Awakening’ quoting Howard Hendricks from his book ‘Standing Together: Impacting Your Generation’