Is it something you said or did?

Did you know someone in high school who was a little different? Someone who might have been bright and Intelligent who got along with most of his classmates. Not a loner, not a trouble maker but limited in his social life, to none, by his father and grandparents.

Looking back to those days I can see a guy I knew that tried hard to be accepted but I don’t think he knew how to do that. His dad who was divorced was a strict disciplinarian and I don’t think his Dad provided any training in social skills because I don’t think he had any either.

Well this guy, I’ll call Jake, was my neighbor and we were the same age.  I didn’t talk with him much when we were young because he wasn’t allowed out of his yard to hang out.  I think this was tough on him because there was an alley behind his house where a bunch of us would play as kids and Jake and his brother and sister could see us but weren’t allowed to join us.

He went to a parochial school to grade 7 and I went to public school. In grade 8 he and many of the kids from the parochial school came to the public school and that is where I got to know Jake a little better.

We were usually in the same home rooms, we had some classes together, or might see each other between classes and occasionally we would walk home together. We weren’t best buds but he loved baseball and we would talk about that as well as some of the pranks he would pull in class.

You should know that there were many times when I tried to avoid him because it didn’t help my social status. And at that time that was important to me.

Back then being a geek wasn’t cool and Jake had that look. He was the kind of guy who would read a novel in class, like Guadalcanal Diaries that was not allowed in school due to the language and was not related to the subject, but Jake was still able to pay enough attention to answer questions in class and to spar with the teacher if he was given a hard time. He always did his homework and studied and I’m sure that helped.

I think overall people liked him.

Why do I bring him up?

This year marks a significant reunion for my high school class. I have been trying to find out if there is a reunion scheduled by checking web sites, Facebook, local newspapers and a few other sources with no success

Out of curiosity I dug out my yearbook and started to read the comments from classmates. Most were very similar. Things like: ‘To a great guy, never forget the good times, luck and success in the future. RMA (remember me always). Joe’. Most likely I wrote the same kind of stuff.

When I came to Jake’s comments I was surprised to say the least. Here’s what he wrote: ‘To my best and longest friend, I wish luck and success to a very wonderful guy. Keep smiling. Jake’. I had never considered Jake my best friend.

March 23, 1998. Jake, who was married with either one or two kids, pulled over on his way to work and shot himself. I had not seen Jake for a long time although a number of years before he ended it I had bumped into him and his family at a store and we talked briefly.

I have told people many times that you will make a comment to someone or do something for someone that you won’t remember but they will and it may have a significant impact on them.

This was made so much clearer to me when I was able to put the parts of this story together.

Lord, help me to be more forgiving and accepting of all people as Christ was and wants me to be. Help me to realize it is not about me but about loving you and loving others.