A Worthwhile Search

I heard something disturbing tonight.

While with a group of guys tonight one of them, a younger man, talked about being disappointed over a number of years by a number of men he had asked to mentor him. He explained that he asked several men several times if they would mentor him but none accepted so he took it upon himself to try to find out what he didn’t know and harder yet to find out, what he didn’t know that he didn’t know yet.

He understood the importance of learning from another man or from other men and what that could mean for him and his future. Gaining knowledge, wisdom, an understanding of better or easier ways of doing things, dealing with relationships, learning about and growing closer to Christ and many other things.

Fortunately for him he didn’t give up. He worked and developed relationships with men, asked questions and earned a college degree.

He is now working on a Master’s of Divinity degree and interning at a local church.

His experience is not the exception but more like the rule. In the book ‘Iron Sharpens Iron’ by Howard Hendricks he explains that there are many young men who would welcome mentors but have a hard time asking or finding mentors.

Many men think they don’t have anything to offer younger men. But every man has something to offer. Examples include: taking care of a car, learning to fish, playing the guitar, learning a language, managing employees, getting promoted, relationship issues, becoming a Christ follower and just about anything you can do.

Guys, don’t hesitate to ask other men for help. And guys if you are asked for advice or guidance don’t hesitate to participate. And if you are having trouble finding a mentor you can use books, cds, dvds, mp3's and seminars to help you grow until you find someone.

Hendricks also suggests not using the word mentor but rather asking someone if they could help you with something or if you want to mentor someone just ask them to go for coffee or lunch or some other activity that you both may enjoy and let the relationship develop.

Oh yea, one of the reasons it was a disturbing night for me was because I was one of the guys my friend repeatedly asked for help. Hopefully I have learned from this and will be more aware next time.